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Ilia on Ice - Feb. 18, 2026

Gary Hunter
Feb 18
1 min read

When Ilia’s steel blade first

failed to bite the ice, he performed

an unrehearsed butt rotation

 

and a teeth-sucking sound

was heard whirling out chimneys,

vents and open windows

 

after America’s spin king

fell two more times, baritone

groans became hopeless growls

 

and he shambled off, head bent,

shattered by his complete letdown,

tears begging to be free

 

in sports, failure keeps a ruthless

score, no points for expectation or effort,

deductions for being too human

 

but Ilia did win something in

these Olympics

 

he crossed the finish line

carried on the shoulders

of a few million hearts

 
 
 

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